(And, yes, I’ve chosen to show this excerpt for a reason. And, for the more rabid of our readership, please note this piece is not up for editing or rewriting. Thanks. — W)
EXT. VILLAGE - NIGHT
The village of MURDENU, as denoted by the wooden signpost hammered into the dirt track in front of an INN. Under it, a sign points left for GRESIT (15m) and right for TÂRGOVISTE (70m).
TWO WEEKS LATER
It’s a cloudy night, no stars or moon. The only lights in the shot come from the lamps burning in the windows of the inn, from which we hear:
So I said to him, it’s my goat, I’ve been tending goats since I was four years old –
INT. INN - NIGHT
And TREVOR BELMONT, the last of the legendary vampire hunters, sitting alone in the back of the drinking-house, wrapped in a heavy cloak and nursing a flagon of watery beer while, at the bar counter, BOSHA, a burly middle-aged farmer, blusters at KOB, a narrow man still wearing a blacksmith’s apron. The INNKEEPER is trying hard not to listen.
…Right, right.
BOSHA
– and I’d know if my goat was in love with you.
KOB
For God’s sake.
BOSHA
And he says to me, I know your goat is in love with me.
KOB
So you said “how?”, Bosha?
BOSHA
So I said, “how?” And he says, well, she fucks me, doesn’t she?
Bosha pauses to down his beer.
And that’s when you hit him.
Bosha clumps the beer pot down on the bar.
Right across the eyes with a shovel. And now the headman says I have to pay the bastard money because he went blind.
53 responses so far ↓
neonightrider // Aug 16, 2007 at 3:32 pm
That was great! I only hope that Konami doesn’t make you change it.
Jeff // Aug 16, 2007 at 5:44 pm
Awesome. I really hope this is the real script Warren, and that this isn’t just you messing with the fanboys. If Konami will approve topless action figures of Succubii, then I don’t see any reason we can’t have this scene.
Richter Belmont // Aug 16, 2007 at 6:14 pm
A man talking about how he left blind other guy just because he fucked one of their goats…
The dark and miserable side of Mankind. I like it.
” I’ve chosen to show this excerpt for a reason ”
I’m intrigued!
Doom Saber // Aug 16, 2007 at 6:40 pm
LOL Hilarious.
Dubious // Aug 16, 2007 at 7:08 pm
It’s like the Prancing Pony scene in LoTR gone horribly wrong.
Merus // Aug 16, 2007 at 8:05 pm
What is a man? A miserable little pile of secrets.
zerodemocracy // Aug 16, 2007 at 8:07 pm
You know, I was just playing Portrait of Ruin today and I was thinking that they could have really punched up the generic anime bullshit script with some goat on man action.
MrPriest // Aug 16, 2007 at 8:09 pm
That sounds great, Finally an adult-oriented anime which is not hentai.
I hope it won’t change so i would be kid oriented.
Good luck!
Jerkofwonder // Aug 16, 2007 at 8:24 pm
It’s not an anime.
Zaratustra // Aug 16, 2007 at 9:54 pm
So it’s Crécy with vampires? Awesome.
MrPriest // Aug 17, 2007 at 1:19 am
Not anime? Well then I hope it goes out with great actors.
Bad German // Aug 17, 2007 at 2:40 am
As anime is considered animated movies/series originating from Japan I wouldn’t call this anime, although Castlevania is from Japan. Dunno, it’s a bit splitting hairs.
MAX_LE_FOU // Aug 17, 2007 at 4:04 am
Awsome. I totally agree with you Jeff.
Jegriva // Aug 17, 2007 at 8:02 am
I don’t want to bet got like the nippon-fanboy who can’t speak a videogame’s name unless say something in Japanese, you know, but I would like to know the reasons behind the choice of using the name Trevor (made up by the mediocre american translators of a Nes game), instead if the originl Ralph.
Thanks for answering.
Apotheos // Aug 17, 2007 at 8:13 am
Anime is a style, and I think its pretty plain that this will be infused with healthy doses of that style.
Benny C. // Aug 17, 2007 at 9:34 am
I can die happy now.
Pedro // Aug 17, 2007 at 9:48 am
Awesome. Just… awesome.
Genya Arikado // Aug 17, 2007 at 11:48 am
ja, ja, ja, very cool.
Arikado // Aug 17, 2007 at 1:24 pm
A goat huh? Well, its’ funnier than a horse
George // Aug 17, 2007 at 8:13 pm
In reference to Jegriva’s comment, I think that’s because Ralph is not awesome sounding.
Say it out loud a few times . Ralph does not conjure the image of a badass. Even when you slap Belmont onto it. Trevor is kinda neutral, but Trevor Belmont just sounds like he will beat the crap out of you.
Jerkofwonder // Aug 18, 2007 at 8:07 am
This movie seems to have no hint of anime style to it whatsoever… THANK GOD.
elvee // Aug 18, 2007 at 5:49 pm
An earnest discussion of goatfucking would have helped other video game movies tremendously. Castlevania has this in the first draft- I think it’s in good shape so far.
Seriously- Dennis Hopper as King Koopa waxing poetic about interspecies erotica? Instant classic for drunken midnight showings.
Lady A // Aug 19, 2007 at 7:23 am
“And TREVOR BELMONT, the last of the legendary vampire hunters, sitting alone in the back of the drinking-house”
Thank you! Thank you!
I am still so happy that Trevor is the one in the movie, and thanks for releasing some news. I am really excited to have this and I want it made
I love this scene, it’s funny and has a darker side to it. It won’t be kid-y. Castlevania geared to adults is a good thing. Again thanks, can we have another script leak please?
Arikado // Aug 19, 2007 at 9:14 am
Perhaps we will see Trevor fight with a shovel. This movie appears to be taking an anything goes approach. Now lets just hope IGA has a sense of humor and can’t read english.
Pete Martin // Aug 19, 2007 at 3:21 pm
Crooked Little Vania?
Art Grafunkel // Aug 20, 2007 at 12:06 am
Crooked Little Vania?
Win!
Art Grafunkel // Aug 20, 2007 at 12:06 am
Crooked Little Vania?
Win!!!
Art Grafunkel // Aug 20, 2007 at 12:07 am
Whoops… Sorry about the double-post.
Benny C. // Aug 20, 2007 at 11:13 am
Seriously- Dennis Hopper as King Koopa waxing poetic about interspecies erotica? Instant classic for drunken midnight showings.
As brilliant as that statement is, my poor little brain cap is about to burst what with interspecies mario-tica and the fact that there’s internet.
I’m really afraid to google search for it, but at the same time, I’m really tempted…
Arikado // Aug 21, 2007 at 2:44 pm
The following are jokes about this script. No back lash please;
1) “goat” is lisas strip name
2)what is a man? a miserable little pile of secrets!
you know… writers often base their work on past experiences… I’m begining to wonder about Warren…
pilgrimOmega // Aug 21, 2007 at 3:12 pm
Ralph is the name of a fucking garbage truck driver.
Warren // Aug 21, 2007 at 4:12 pm
Please leave comedy to the professionals in future. Thank you.
– The Management
Kyle // Aug 21, 2007 at 7:42 pm
This sounds great. You aren’t going to muck it up with any Lament of Innocence plot points and Mathias Cronqvist crap, are you? The only thing I hated more than that game, was it’s storyline. IGA needs to leave well enough alone.
Malachi // Aug 22, 2007 at 5:20 pm
I am sorry but since Lament of Innocence is as canon (thus far) as any other game in the series one cannot pick and choose. Besides all of this Koji Igarashi currently controls the developement rights for the series and so the idea of him “leaving well enough alone” is rather absurd. All of this aside he helped direct Symphony of the Night; one of the finest Castlevania games in the series. A Beginning had to be made at aome point and I, personally, do not see anything wrong with Lament. I will, however, agree that it was not on par with the rest of them.
Malachi // Aug 22, 2007 at 5:21 pm
“some point”
Sorry!
Douglas Cartland // Aug 29, 2007 at 8:48 am
It’s good to see this blog still alive and kicking despite the fanboy-overdose that appears to be going on here.
Funny post though.
Fernando X Fuentes (real name) // Aug 29, 2007 at 9:08 am
not to sound redundant, but this has me really excited.
A great property being handled by a great writer……why didn’t someone else think of that sooner?
btw: i’m listening to Zombi right now. if anyone should perform (not necessarily compose) the music for this movie, it should definately be them.
Imagine Rush done on keyboards.
great stuff.
Fernando X Fuentes (real name) // Aug 29, 2007 at 9:09 am
umm…i can’t spell today.
“definitely”
sorry about that.
Bluebomber4evr // Sep 8, 2007 at 10:30 am
That was awesome, Warren. I hope that stays in the final script!
to Jegriva: while “Ralph” may have been perfectly acceptable to a Japanese audience, it doesn’t evoke a heroic image to an English-speaking audience. To most English-speaking people, the name “Ralph” makes one think of a fat guy with armpit-sweat stains on his “Who Farted?” T-shirt, not some badass vampire killer.
Rhett Whittington // Sep 11, 2007 at 3:48 am
I agree, the name Raph sucks. As for the movie, what I did read did remind me of the scene from the prancing pony in LOTR wtih Aragorn sitting in the shadows watching Frodo and sam. I really got high hopes for this Animated movie…somehow I have a sinking feeling if the live action movie ever does get made I’ll be even more disapointed than when I went to go and see Van Helsing…
whatisaman // Oct 8, 2007 at 3:00 am
shit….your better at this than me…all this screenplay writing malarkey
JOEmega // Oct 18, 2007 at 3:11 pm
Hey guys. I’m going to have to say that Lament of Innocence was hilariously under rated, and it’s story is veryyyyy good. I’m really excited for this, and the live action movie. I have a question though..why do you have to have the characters say “fuck”? I mean, I don’t know, it sounds stupid coming from me, but do you really have to have such language?
Crono // Oct 24, 2007 at 7:13 am
Malachi, the problem is that Castlevania already had a beginning. The Belmont Origin Story was Castlevania Legends, for the Game Boy. Sonia Belmont was the first Belmont vampire hunter, and she spawned the belmont family with Alucard as its sire.
IGA had that game removed from Cannon so he could make Lament of Innocents, which revolves around dudes girlfriend becoming the vampire killer. WTF?
I’m going to agree, IGA needs to leave well enough alone.
Thomas Belmont // Oct 30, 2007 at 11:28 am
Judging by that tiny part of the script, I can already tell that this movie is most likely going to suck. Not only does beastiality have nothing to do with Castlevania but it makes you, and the script, come off as immature. It just feels forced, like you threw it in because you were given permission to use foul language and feel that having the characters talk about sex and using curse words makes it mature.
JOEmega // Nov 4, 2007 at 7:06 am
Thomas Belmont,
I totally agree with you for the most part. I don’t think the movie will suck, but I’m definetly feeling what you are saying about the immaturity and how the scene is completely irelevent. Glad to see somebody is on the same page with me.
therealcaro // Nov 17, 2007 at 2:55 pm
I disagree that the excerpt shows immaturity. Rather, I think it shows a heightened sense of the dark side of humanity that shallower works tend to ignore, and furthermore, it presents this darkness in a realistic way. It’s comedic, sure, and since (nervous) laughter is often the way that people handle shockingly bizarre information, that comedy is appropriate. (If you doubt that weird stuff like this actually happens, check out http://www.warrenellis.com for real-life examples.) As for relevancy, it depends on exactly what you mean by “relevant”: did this scene show up in one of the games? Perhaps not, but the worst thing this movie could be is an exact duplicate. Personally, I consider it “relevant” in that I think it will add nicely to the general atmosphere.
Alucard // Dec 6, 2007 at 9:47 pm
Thomas Belmont, this is probably the only scene thats gonna be like this in the whole movie even if it does make it into the final script… which it will probably wont make it in, but if it does I and alot of other people agree that it exposes humans as pathetic as they are. Which I think adds to the films Vampire Greatness and a simple discussion of beastiality… at the same time the other points of the movie of vampires been evil creatures that drink blood will add to vampire haters. While there been great human men like Trevor. I think all in all it adds to the films concept.
Richter // Dec 7, 2007 at 9:23 pm
“If Konami will approve topless action figures of Succubii then why not this”
Topless? where can I get these action figures ?
Dracula // Dec 7, 2007 at 9:26 pm
It was not by my hand I was once again given flesh…. ow wait that doesn’t have anything to do with this blog.
I will say that portraying vampires in this movie should be of the highest regard.. while humans should be portrayed as goat fuckers. And some humans like Trevor should be heroes that win in the end, (im hoping not).
Sean // Dec 21, 2007 at 4:24 pm
“As anime is considered animated movies/series originating from Japan I wouldn’t call this anime”
Then you shouldn’t call anything anime, since the vast majority of “anime” is, just like American cartoons, animated by studios in Korea.
Elnidfse // Jan 15, 2008 at 4:58 am
“Ha! Mankind. A cesspit of hatred and lies! Fight for them then and die for their sins!” More or less one of the reasons why I like the Chi no Rondo(Rondo of Blood).
But enough of that, I do have to put in the fact that I rather enjoyed the dialogue about “goat fucking.” Even though I am rather late about my response (taking into consideration my discovery of this “to-be” film), I already have hopes for this film based on the wit that has been presented.
To Thomas Belmont,
While I understand the reason for you to generally dislike the idea of this scene in a movie that bears the Castlevania name I doubt that you can really go so far as to say that it sucks. What you need is a sense of humour or in the very least, understand the basic cocept of wit. I hardly think clever humour could be considered
immature, especially when it doesn’t really invovle our main protagonist being the one who does aything with a goat. Furthermore, take note that this is still the 15th century and I highly doubt that society has advanced farther then our own (and that is taking into consideration that people still “sheep bash”).
Kurokawa // Aug 22, 2008 at 12:30 pm
Agreed that the language and perversion can be childish *if used extensively*. Keeping this to a minimum would add some appropriate dark humour to the film, evoking both laughs and disappointment at these two simpleton peasants who represent much of the corrupted human society; the same society which noble men like Trevor may not agree with, but still fight to save their lives. The scene is very well done, with Trevor sitting in the back, cloaked and hidden as such, shows how he is outcast amongst the corrupt world he calls home, and exactly the kind of corruption he must fight.
As far as the whole “anime-versus-non-anime” thing goes, the way I see it, the animation would look very nice done in a grungy, dark anime-esque style.
Okami // Sep 26, 2008 at 2:15 am
Question: do you know that GRESIT means “wrong” in Romanian? I was wondering if it has something to do with this the name on the sign you’ve mentioned at the beginning of the draft.
I’ve enjoyed it to! Looking forward to see the movie!!
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